Sunday mornings and coffee seem to be the time when the words flow easiest for me. This morning I was thrown back to a time when I was the witness to the end of a young marriage. My best friend had married a young woman that for whatever reason fit nicely into the world he was creating. It’s not where they ended up and he’s not that man today, but at the time their union made everything seem right with the world.

I remember when things fractured and then eventually broke between them. She went off to her new life in a nearby city and he got on his antique BMW and drove to Canada. I became the keeper of his home, his business and what felt like his heart. I was not worthy of the task because of my own shortcomings, but I attempted to carry the load and I think helped save him from the abyss.

While they were off in opposite directions and I was caring for their abandoned home, I remember walking in their bedroom. It was a bright sunny day and the light poured in and bounced off the yellow walls. The sheets and blankets were a mess and I remember being struck by the idea that this is where their best and worst times may have happened. Holding each other close and whispering “I love you”, or laughing until the tears appeared in the corners of their eyes. Arguing over petty things or misguided moments. Meaningless confrontation with life-changing repercussions.

As a reflect back on that today, the music that reminded me of that moment was Jackson Browne’s song In The Shape Of A Heart.

You keep it up
You try so hard
To keep a life from coming apart
And never know
What breaches and faults are concealed
In the shape of a heart

If I knew then what I know now, what would I have said that would be different? I would tell them things that drive them apart are so much smaller than the things that brought them together. Breaches and faults of the human heart lay deep below the persona we’ve created to present to the world. We look for someone that we can share that with. When we find “the one”, we share those wounds hoping they can heal what they have no ownership of. Often we resent them for what is ultimately an inside job.

I can’t rewind time so there is no solution for them. Thankfully I have found the healing for myself. Today I am a father, a friend, a journeyman in the truest sense, I am Everyman and I am a reluctant agent in this thing called life. My hope is that I can help another across their Great Divide and live a life beyond their wildest dreams. The answer does live within a heart, just not someone else’s…my own.
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I wish you peace and love…
Time to brew a fresh pot!

This journey called life is a funny thing. It’s full of twists and turns, ups and downs and everything in between. Each day is a new adventure. The only thing we know for sure is that we have today.
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I’m not sure how many people’s stories I’ve heard, but it’s more than 10,000 people based on my estimates. That’s a lot of trust! One of the things that I noticed recently is the amount of pain people endure while living in the “in-between”.
What does it mean to be in-between? Well, it’s different for everyone but it’s also very much the same. It is the place of pain when we can’t let go of someone we’ve loved even though we know they are gone for good. The wave of grief that comes unexpectedly long after the loss. It is the refusal to accept the outcomes of life and the pain is measured in how tightly we hold on to what has passed.

What do I do? Look for acceptance. Sometimes the stories we thought we’re over are anything but over. When we realize that happy endings are rarely ever easy, simple or happen as expected, we make room for acceptance. In the end whether a new story is taking shape or an old one is suddenly being replayed in a different light, what is clear is our only pain is in the change. Our only uncertainty is what lies in the in between places. The sooner I let go of what’s behind me and extend my heart and hand for what lies ahead, the sooner I will leave the “in-between”. Trust there is something greater that has your back...let go, jump and reach for what lies ahead. I will be waiting for you there!!!